My discipline’s gone out the window. Any writer (who has managed to finish a book to publishable standards) will tell you that yeah, yeah, talent and wordcraft and story ideas and blah blah, but none of that’s any good unless you actually sit down and apply it in a sustained fashion. In the words of Eric, a tennis champion in Lionel Shriver‘s book Double Fault, “What you ‘could’ do is infinite. You’re capable of what you actually do.” Discipline is not the only thing needed for success in writing, but it is the only thing needed to finish writing.

Okay, so I didn’t have my laptop this week, and my limited, borrowed, computer time was focused on getting my paid non-fiction freelancing work done. But I did have a pen and paper. I had no excuse to lie around on the couch pretending I couldn’t keep writing fiction, just because I wanted to read and generally slack-off instead.

I don’t know what’s going on with me. I do know I found the reminder in this week’s Book Show’s segment on writing young adult fiction very helpful: first drafts are always crappy and need a lot of work to turn them into publishable material. I know this, but the reminder was helpful.

I think the problem is that my good habits have been broken. I am sitting here waiting for my good habits to reestablish themselves, when I should know better – bad habits establish themselves, insidiously. Good habits take concentration and work. I’ve fallen into the trap of wanting to have written, forgetting that means I have to write.

I’m taking a step back. I will stick with my 500 words a day goal, but now in ‘must do’ mode, not in, ‘oh it’ll happen I’m sure’ mode. That’s the only way to have written.